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Breaking News — Metropolis Gazette

HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
FRIEND

Faster than a deadline. More powerful than Monday mornings. Able to leap every excuse in a single bound. Today the city celebrates its actual hero — you.

Hear a Secret Message
Superman edit of the birthday hero
EST.
TODAY
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Issue #1

The Origin Story

TRUE STORY

Legend says Krypton sent one hero to Earth. They were wrong, turns out there's a second one, and he's been quietly saving the day ever since: showing up when it matters, laughing loud enough to be heard from space, and making every room better just by walking into it.

No cape required. No red boots either (unless you're into that). Just a certified, undefeated, one-of-one legend clocking in for another trip around the sun.

— The Daily Planet, probably who knows

Incoming Transmission

A Message From BATMAN

Recorded in my own voice, encrypted with maximum cheese. One listen, zero regrets.

Tap to play / pause the birthday message
HOPE!

Official Certificate of Legendary Status

ASHISH PAHAL

Celebrating 29 Years of HOPE MAXXING!

This confirms that, as of today, one certified DUMDUM has completed another full orbit of the sun without losing their sense of humor. Powers remain fully intact!

AUGUST 19, 2026